Just now, I finished watching the movie...laughing, sobbing, cuddled up with my hubby and Nero on the bed. Nero, now, is no longer a puppy. Time flies so fast. He has never been truly destructive, is not scared of thunderstorms and only chews his own toys. He loves to curl up close to us, but is also comfortable padding off and sleeping in his own special nooks and corners. He is much calmer, though still playful; more obedient but still guided more by biscuits than instructions and just as loveable as ever.
He is always there for me. 2 years of personal upheavals, trying to have a child unsuccessfully, sometimes tragically close; giving up my job; looking for a purpose, an identity, a reason. Feeling lost, adrift..numb in limbo, personally, professionally...in every which way. He's always here, unquestioning, unjudging, uplifting. Throughout these 2 years, he has seen me at ... and through my lowest moments. And he's always there, with his silky head, melting expression...reminding me when to feed him, walk him, play with him. Staying away but within reach when not needed. Accepting me for what I am, even when I can't accept myself.
As I watched Marley close his eyes in his dying scene, and Nero let out a few gentle snores, I felt emotionally silent...a silence of acceptance of the inevitable and deep deep thankfulness for the present.
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